Here are my notes:
OK, this is me. If I want you to reach this book, but I’m aware of several drawbacks, I worry that the drawbacks will stop you from reading. My theory, though, is that if I acknowledge the drawbacks, you’ll know there’s something despite the drawbacks. So I start with the drawbacks.
Drawback #1: in this day and age, any 326 page book is a slog. Every commitment has a chapter, every chapter has stories and examples, every chapter has steps for practicing, and a nutshell and a summary. (My commonsense approach to relationship book, For The Gifts We All Come Bearing, describes six competencies. Its seven chapters take up about 60 pages. Too short?)
If prose isn’t rich and dense these days, for me it turns into a slog. But slog I did.
Drawback #2: in addition to fear, anger, joy, and sadness, The 15 Commitments book identifies sexual feelings as part of core feelings. I’m not going to argue truth value here. That’s probably accurate. But I think encouraging people to talk about their sexual feelings in a business setting is a patently bad idea. Passion, connectedness to one’s creativity, fine. Titillation, not so much.
Drawback #3: One of the examples for the commitment to candor shows a long-winded speech from a worker to the boss about how disrespected they felt when they got interrupted in a meeting. The authors go on to say this stuff only works when there is a genuine and mutual commitment to candor. I’m pretty sure the speech doesn’t even work then…
Drawback #4: and a big one for me. In the commitment to fun, play, and rest, they talk about workaholism as equivalent to any other addiction. I consider location workaholism in the individual un-PC. We are figuring out how to get maximum work out of ourselves because we are financially insecure, and I blame our entire economic system, not ourselves as individuals.
That said, my review of this book is to agree that there really are 15 commitments, and they are all worth spending some time on.
#1 Taking Radical Responsibility
“The entire game changes when we choose to see that we are creating our experience and that someone or something is not doing it to us.”
#2 Learning through Curiosity “I value learning over being right.”
#3 “I commit to feeling my feelings all the way through.” Emotions are energy in motion.
#4 “I commit to saying that is true for me. I commit to being a person to whom others can express themselves with candor. Drama… revolves around what is arguable and a commitment to being “right” about it. Great leaders learn to reveal what is true for them by revealing what is unarguable.”
#5 “I commit to ending gossip.”
#6 “I commit to the masterful practice of integrity… including keeping my agreements and taking 100% responsibility.”
#7 “I commit to living in appreciation, fully opening to both receiving and giving appreciation.”
#8 Excelling in My Zone of Genius. “I commit to expressing my full magnificence and to supporting and inspiring others to fully express their creativity and live in their zone of genius.”
#9 Living a Life of Play and Rest. “I commit to creating a life of play, improvisation, and laughter.”
#10 Exploring the Opposite. “I commit to seeing that the opposite of my story is true as or truer than my original story. I recognize that I interpret the world around me and give my stories meaning.” There’s a bumper sticker that captures this commitment: don’t believe everything you think.
#11 “I commit to being the source of my approval, control, and security.” This commitment is an invitation to see the world as whole, perfect, and complete. We have everything inside us to provide all the approval, control, and security we need.
#12 Without saying so, this commitment revisits Stephen Covey’s abundance mentality. “I commit to experiencing that I have enough of everything, including time, money, love, energy, space, resources, etc.”
#13 Experiencing the World as an Ally. “I commit to seeing all people and circumstances as allies that are perfectly suited to help me learn the most important things for my growth. Conscious leaders look at life through the perspective of learning and growth.”
#14 This commitment harkens back to Covey again – think win-win. “I commit to creating win-for-all solutions.”
#15 Being the Resolution. An opportunity for change isn’t so much a “should” around addressing a lack or a problem as an invitation to write another verse to an already beautiful song.
All copy and content credit to Jane Campbell. | Published on April 30, 2020.
