Countless cliches remind us that the only thing certain in life is uncertainty itself. Yet most leaders are terrified to say the words, “I don’t know.”
Recently, I had a revealing experience with one of my clients, a CEO who was wrestling with this very issue. She arrived at our call overwhelmed by uncertainty, having not slept well for over a week.
As the CEO, everyone asked her about the plan for next year’s strategy. She didn’t know yet, and she was terrified of admitting it. With the board meeting looming, the pressure was mounting. She was paralyzed by fear, holding tightly to her story that a true leader always has the answers.
I reflected back to her, “So I hear not knowing is a big problem. That you believe it’s your job to know. And your team definitely can’t know that you don’t know.”
She eventually smiled. “That’s right,” she said. Her fear started to melt.
By the end of our session, she was above the line about not knowing—it was no longer a problem. In fact, she felt excited to share her uncertainty with the team. Letting go of control and empowering her team had been an ongoing challenge for her. Now, she saw an opportunity to lead differently. By releasing the belief that she had to have all the answers, she invited her team into a new level of collaboration and co-creation.
The Power of Embracing “I Don’t Know”
Like this CEO, most of us, regularly wrestle with, avoid, or fear the unknown. We long to skip over the discomfort of ‘not knowing’ and land safely in certainty.
But what if we could change our relationship to “I don’t know?”
Picture a leader confronted with an unexpected market shift (content). Responding with fear or defensiveness (context) impacts their ability to think clearly and make sound decisions. Furthermore, it will likely ripple through their team, causing anxiety and rigidity.
When we’re below the line, our brain’s threat response redirects blood flow away from the prefrontal cortex—the area responsible for creativity, problem-solving, and long-term thinking. Accessing expansive and imaginative ideas becomes nearly impossible when we’re in threat.
When we approach uncertainty from above the line, we meet it with curiosity and openness. This mindset fosters creativity and invites collaboration, turning uncertainty from an obstacle into an opportunity for growth and innovation.
Not knowing is the edge of creativity, the space we must embrace to tackle complex challenges. “I don’t know” is a vastly underused phrase that unlocks possibility when we stop seeing it as a problem.
What if “I don’t know” became the most powerful phrase in your leadership vocabulary?
Navigating Uncertainty with Conscious Leadership
Before we can effectively navigate the unknown, we must first become conscious of how we relate to it.
Your relationship to uncertainty defines your leadership. Are you leading with a clenched fist, trying to control the uncontrollable, or with open hands, ready to receive what’s possible?
Try this exercise: Identify an issue in your life or leadership where you feel particularly uncertain. Notice what it feels like in your body to sit with that uncertainty.
Keep the issue in your mind as you say the phrase “I don’t know” out loud 3 times.
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
Notice any emotions or sensations in the body that came up as you did that. Perhaps, like me, you notice your heartbeat quicken and your chest tightening.
Now check: Are you above or below the line?
From below the line, we make uncertainty a problem. We get reactive and controlling, overthink or catastrophize. We create false certainties and often resist our fear (which can feel at times like it might eat us alive).
- Would you be willing to sit fully in the discomfort of the unknown without trying to fix or change it?
- Would you be willing to see “I don’t know” just as a fact of life, and not make it a problem?
- Would you be willing to stop taking “I don’t know” so seriously?
Conscious leadership doesn’t imply having all the answers. It means staying present, being curious, and being creative in the face of uncertainty.
The unknown isn’t going away, but you can choose whether to meet it with fear or freedom.
“I don’t know” can be a dead end or a doorway. The choice is yours.
