Define: Opposite of My Story
A conscious practice of questioning your story is to open to the infinite possibilities of life — to stay unattached, undefended, and truly curious about what else could be true
Excerpt from the Book:
I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always. The Work of Byron Katie.
When we let go of the righteousness of our beliefs that drive us to live in the drama triangle, we open to curiosity and align with our deepest desires. We live our lives free of “shoulds” and “have tos” and enjoy both great freedom and peace.
From Above the Line
By Me:
I commit to believing my stories and the meaning I give them as the truth.
From below the Line
To Me:
I commit to being right and to seeing this situation as something that is happening to me. I commit to being defensive especially when I am certain that I am RIGHT.
Practice It:
Pick an Issue Like: “Paul should understand me.”
1. Is it true?
Is it true that he should understand you? Be still. Wait for the heart’s response.
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
Ultimately, can you really know what he should or shouldn’t understand? Can you absolutely know what is in his best interest to understand?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
What happens when you believe “Paul should understand me” and he doesn’t? Do you experience anger, stress, frustration? How do you treat Paul? Do you give him “the look”? Do you try to change him in any way? How do these reactions feel? How do you treat yourself? Does that thought bring stress or peace into your life? Be still as you listen.
4. Who would you be without the thought?
Close your eyes. Picture yourself in the presence of Paul. Now imagine looking at Paul, just for a moment, without the thought “I want him to understand.” What do you see? What would your life look like without that thought?
The Turnaround
Next, turn your statement around. The turnarounds are an opportunity to experience the opposite of what you believe to be true. You may find several turnarounds.
For example, “Paul should understand me” turns around to:
- I should understand me.
- I should understand Paul.
- Paul shouldn’t understand me.
Additional Resources
- Fact vs. Story
- Presence is a Habit of the Mind
- When Quitting is the Boldest Move you can make
- 5 Magic Words That End Drama and Foster Creation
- 15 Commitments Book
